Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Day one

Feel like I've travelled halfway across the world in the last month. The rains in Queensland, snow in Tehran, desert in Dubai. There's still nowhere like home.

First day of real work and everyone seems relaxed. What a relief. Have my own office and I'm working under the boss. I can see life stretch out in front of me though and I know already I could not do this forever. I have aspirations. My end goal I know but I'm still working out which stepping stones are solid.

This year will be crazy. I'm still reserving the making of my new years resolutions. Gonna need them as my ace card. Got hdip dissertation and law school/ board exams and The job. Let's just hope I soldier on as usual and don't let it affect me... I want to be the best i can be at what I have chosen to do, not just mediocre.

These things in life I won't sacrifice
My family including my boy
My real friends
My dreams
My future
My education
My time

I am doing this to learn, not just about the trade but about myself and what I want and like.

I drafted two summons and a will, sat in on a consult and worked on a legal opinion.

Beautiful African sunset on the way home, after the worst rains ever... The sun revealed itself as a blazing ball of burn, the sky was streaked with purple strokes... Perfect ending

Trip to the Randburg Mag Court only to find the file we need is not filed, and the woman behind the counter rudely tells us that she will not look for it, loose files are not her deal. Welcome to South Africa. Watching our associate not blink upon hearing this, whilst knowing her client will again be disappointed having waited half a year already just to have their default judgment effected inspired RESOLUTION ONE:


Patience. Elaboration to follow.


Next we visited the HUGE law firms to serve a pleading. Huge yes. Beautiful, impressive, wow. Do I wish I was working there? I don’t know, certainly it was my dream and my vision. If I considered it for two minutes it was eradicated by the next visit.


The advocates chambers… not in grimy central Joburg but the classiest part of Sandton. And I am certain that is what I want to do.


Lunch at the fancy bistro across the square with most of the office, and convo turned to advocates. Impressive ones can keep their calm, never get flustered. Water off a duck’s back. Resolution one confirmed. I resolve to be calm, deal with less intelligent people without raising an eyebrow. I will try and control my temper. Teach myself slowly. This is a weakness. Nothing must ruffle me. Or else I can give up dreams of becoming an advocate… kiss that designer tower with its own coffee shop and duck egg blue wallpaper goodbye…


I have more resolutions, but I need to think about them.


Did training on how to bill, and spent two hours at candidate attorney lunch. Got BW to sign my form, he seems nice J Finished my work and was told to go home at 4:30. Gonna make the most of it, cause in a few weeks my life will be a living hell! Enjoying the work though, but I have to learn more attention to detail. Something which plagues me. Have always been more of a concept person. It will be RESOLUTION TWO for sure. Attention to fine detail, when listening and when acting. Focus minutely on the job at hand, review things many time not automatically but sensibly.


Day two. Tomorrow schools start so traffic will be hell.



Sunday, January 16, 2011

Hafiz says

"O God where is the one who knows and sees
To open up the secrets that in my heart are jailed.
It was not fair to punish my godly heart
With abuse, my heart bitterly cried and wailed.
If I was deprived in my longing, say naught
Kindness of fate from this hardship, none bailed."


It is only by comparison which we fail. in our own rights we are perfect.

Sometimes we cannot exist through functions of desire alone.

It is through our differences that we experience the world.

I am inseparable from my faults.

please do not blame me for that which is beyond my control, please try to understand my differences and appreciate that we all have unsatisfactory parts. I am like no other. I do not want to be at all like anyone else. please do not compare me. I am not the same as anyone.

My hands are tied.
He asked which way the wind blew
Not knowing he was too light to fight it
And like a flower takes flight to
Scatter it's seeds
He was thrust by a gust, into the weeds
Upon surface, he asked no more questions