Wednesday, December 24, 2008

"like, when i say he's perfect...he is perfect
i cant conceive that i could find someone better
with other people there were always things at the back of my mind telling me it couldnt be forever, yknow? like, its a fling, not serious
and you know they arent right for you completely
but with him, there isn't that little alarm in the back of my head
there is no reason why i wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with him
in fact, there's every reason that i would want to!"
and the best part is,
that he feels the same way

Sunday, December 21, 2008


"I will wait forever,
Cause I think you're the one"
A Skylit Drive

Thank goodness these signs stifle my tears
Now I look to someone to suffocate my fears

You think the day will never come
But it does and you are possibly even less prepared
Than the first day when you conceived the idea

So here it is
And I feel a thousand million times worse than I thought I would
And it hurts and
I'm alone again

Who will hold me now?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Please talk to me.

Don't you love me anymore?
My heart...
It is sore.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

If it pains you that he calls me his best friend and not you
Why are you not there for him when he needs you?
Is it selfish
To want to keep her because you love her
Even if she does not love you?

Is it selfish
To force her to stay by declaring yourself upset
When she is doubt-ridden

Is it foolish
To want to be loved
When she is unsure

She just needs a little space
To experience her whole life from here
You don't remember what it was like?
And you, you need to find someone
Who is at the same stage as you.

I tried to explain this to you before
But you thought I was taking the piss
I tried to tell you my doubts
So I could save you from this
But all it achieved was double hurt,
Our hurt when we argued,
And your hurt now

So I won't bother saying I told you so
But I did.

It was never that I wasn't happy for you
It was just I saw too clearly.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Not enough days before my sweetheart leaves....
Not enough days...!
What will I do when he's gone
What will I do?

Monday, December 01, 2008

To a friend, not even half of my thoughts.

I ask you not, because I would have you sad
But rather because I need to understand
To be there for you when you inevitably fall from this farce
That you yourself have admitted is not forever
So then why do you deliberately isolate yourself?
Maybe,maybe,maybe I am wrong,
I can only hope that this is so
But I see your soul has leaked from your eyes
Does she keep it?
Because I can not even see hers.

Love is not some competition
But what lies beneath what you say, and do
All the empty actions
That I do not need although it is I who you compete with.
If I could only see into your head...
But I wish this too often
I just feel that I am losing you, my friend
And was that not your greatest fear?
So why then, do you push us away?

I try to reason with you
But your thoughts are aimless
And your excuses feeble
What are your true reasons for not wanting to stay?

Your gaze betrays you
And your knock-backs do not make me doubt my choice
It only your so called lover who suffers
Because your love goes only as far as you can prove.
So where do we go from here?
Though I do not await your demise,
I must keep it in mind
Although you pretend that you don't need me now
Or you do things that push me away
My loyalty means I will stay
Because then you will need me.
Is it good enough reason?

Nothing you say or do I can believe
And we do not connect
What is left? what is left?
You test the ones who I love
And disappoint me yourself
What now?

I do not know, and dare not think whether this may be an ending, or if this is a change. Whether it is permanent, what it is and whether I can handle it.

"How did we get here?
I used to know you so well,
How did we get here?
I think I know how."
Paramore - Decode