Dear J,

There's so much I want to say to you
That I know I never will.

I feel that now,
I'll never kiss your lips again
Nor feel your touch.

I can't miss you yet,
I can't feel anything at all
Except sick
Sick and falling to pieces
From what you put me through
- Did you know?

I never once told you I loved you
Was I wrong for thinking I did?

I understand none of your actions
I know not why you ever wanted me

Would you -
Please tell me why you say you care
When you don't
I don't blame you for loving another
And I can't feel angry at you
I can't feel anything at all

I think you should know
That I could never feel the same
For anyone but you

Would you keep this piece of my heart?
On second thoughts - no
I desire you to have nothing of me
And don't you ever tell me you were sorry,

Don't ever tell me you loved me!

This is where it ends.

You didn't know -
How my heart skipped a beat
How much it all meant to me
More than you could know.

Please tell me what you felt
What it was I saw in your eyes..

If you thought of someone else
When I closed your eyes -
Don't tell me now
If you wished I were her

If I am not your first,
Your only
I will not be yours
I won't be your toy any longer

You haven't left me with much
I can't feel the same
I can't feel the same
I can't feel the same

Please tell me why
Even if it hurts to hear
That you never felt this
Not for a moment

It didn't mean a thing

Tell me,
How often you thought of me
In the weeks between
Because I thought of you everyday

I am missing a heart
Which surrendered itself to you

I wish you happiness
While you sleep by her side
I wish her all the love
You never could give to me
I am cold and I am lonely
And I cannot blame you for anything
Except pretending


It hurts to know you lied
It hurts to know you led me on
More than anything
It tears me apart to know that
You don't love me
You never did.

I only wish I understood
Your intentions
Were they ill
Or simply thoughtless

This is goodbye.