It is hard to feel dejected, and alone
I know I am just over-tired
But little rifts feel like earthcrackwars
My earth may crack open

I find my numbness in the television
But I know it cannot save me from tomorrow
and that time is running away with me

Why do they choose now to argue me?
I don't know
Why does he choose now to leave me overdramaticallyalone?

I pull him, knowing full well his anchorboat is moored
But I pull him all the same
I cannot help myself, it is my game, to hurt myself to see who saves me

The night is hollow, my legs tingle, my back is stiff
The house is empty. But who knows and who looks for me this darktonight?

Whose shoes am I filling, have I not learnt my lesson yet?
and why does my puppetmaster not release me

I chase my dreams to escape, in wakefulness I chase my sleep
to comfort me for the day has not enough hours to settle me
and i have closed the pressurelid upon myself
and it is you who test me, but i have not understood yet
what is it you wish to see, my pass or my fail?

my day has been long - longer than yours because mine has run for two endless weeks with wings and my mind imploring me not to fail myself. or answer to my Regret. I fear him.

I fear his unloving eyes and harsh words - that need no hearing -
they speak straight to my brain
some direct poison to put me to sleep quickly
so I do not feel the pain.

For this long week, my tears flow easily now
and in knowing this, I must equate my tears
- to you and your preoccupation
- to you and your anger
- to you and your thoughtlessness

I only need to know you are thinking of me.... it satisfies me to know the thought is there. Half the time I don't need the action. Just fight for me. I need to feel I am worth it. this is what i need.
But you? what do you need?

The TV is silent

I sit alone

Where are you now?

And what thoughts occupy your mind?

I just want to know.

I just want to know.