work in progress

feels like eternities between the times he speaks
and she's bruised her funnybone
she wishes he shared her love for Grease
She forgot to take her bra off

she considers giving up
he just can't hear her
but he's waiting for a reaction
as he fingers his guitar

she misses him
In the minutes between
But the world might still be stable an hour after
She's shaking in her sleep

And he has these glasses
Which are silver rimmed
Like the clouds since she met him

He said she had to be his
She quaked in her shoes
One week later she realised
She had nothing to lose
She was his all along

Now they fight for a flower
Which dies in the rain
He knows every time he touches her
He causes her pain
But he can't give her up

She thinks he loves her all the same
And he does
She can't even pretend she doesn't

Now the flood gates that have opened
Might knock him down
But he's a good swimmer
She knows he won't drown

Not on her watch

And tonight is her watch
And ever night after
He gets a bit angry
And reminds her of her father

She giggles
He makes her laugh
He watches her
As she takes her bath
Every night

And she's dripping

I feel so alone tonight

I wish that people had the time for me that I make for them. I realise now why people are so grateful to just have me listen. So few people have that ability. And there is nothing worse than feeling as though you are a burden on someone elses ears. It's just, sometimes, I feel so alone, and I know, well I hope, that I would be there for any friend of mine that feels as I do in those times. But who is here for me? Who has the time? I don't know.

Does Time take everything away?

How dark is the night with not even one star?

.

Give me just one chance tonight,

I can't take anymore.

Do you care

To hear me spill my guts?

Does it bother you

To watch me rot?

 

If the flies eat my body

Will you cry on the inside?

If they find my empty hearse

Will you take the free ride?

 

If all these questions find answers

Bring them to my grave

Write them on a piece of paper

Dig a hole with a spade

And bury them better

Than they buried me

Cause if I have the answers

My soul might be freed

Feel my chest contract, for you

And my heart attack, beats through

 

Tears sting my cheeks drawn out by you

I know that tonight, you'll cry for me too

yes you shall realise

as my whispers rape your ears

this pain i cause you

is a product of my fears

i never stopped loving you

while my mind had stopped to roam

now your heart has exiled my chest

and screamed it isn't home

 

Not anymore

 

I want you back

Possibilities of a short story

And Oh! He loved her like the world might end and he would still love her without it. 

He loved her like his life was nothing but.

He loved her like a man loves a woman

Like a mother loves her child

 

But oh! She didn't love him.

And it was the bane of his existence, 

The sorrow in his tea.

He couldn't be without her

Only one he could love, it was she

 

Yes boy, you hear me, even you have loved such, 

With none in return

You can feel how his heart bleeds?

And he is suffocating within his own blood,

slipped on the puddle from his tears

No, he cannot stop crying

 

And what set her apart? She was a princess in his eyes

To be worshipped, to be loved. He would love her, 

Give her anything

 

Oh the dangers of letting a woman into your heart

Oh the dangers of handing out your trust like party packets

'Here, take it, it comes with the cake'

And your trust you give with your friendship?

- No, you say you don't. Your trust is hard to come by, only those who deserve it will receive

Does she deserve it? When all she ever does is rip you apart

When she unbuttons you, when she undresses you, when she leaves you naked 

To stare and sympathise, but never love what she sees.

Not how you would have her love it.

 

Oh she loves you, yes she cares for you. Fool! It isn't enough and you let your heart

wait for her! She will never come around, she will never see you in that light when

she refuses to move. She cannot, don't blame her.

  

Listen to me. Listen hard. This isn't you, defined by her. This shell of a man, 

it isn't right, it's empty for pouring out it's contents to some undeserving host.

Oh you say she deserves to have your heart. Noone deserves a heart they would not keep.

Noone deserves tears they would have you not weep. This is over. 

 

"Sweetheart, are you okay? You seem so in your head."

 

"I'm fine" He forced a smile, he would fake it instead. Not moving on, not letting go, still

waters stagnate and she would watch him rot because she didn't have the heart to 

break him down. And he didn't have the heart to move on, his heart was hers, she did not know

she kept it.

 

She took his hand and led him along the passage, not knowing that her touch melted him. Or maybe she did

know, if she should stop to think. She never did. He swallowed his thoughts, and made sure his

smile was intact. He would not let her see him weak. Not in person.

 

Two hearts moved down the passage, and one body owned both. 

 

How could he ever forget her if she was here in his life? How could he ever not desire her if he 

did not want to let go? 

 

There's only one way to heal a heart.

You have to want to forget.

 

Forgiving her was easy, but her smile haunted his dreams. Every thought was her, 

every dream was her face, her voice replayed in his head, and in his existence.

Did she know that her half-love was killing him?- Who are we to judge the intentions

of a girl who is loved.- But if she did could she change it? Oh she must be strong, 

but she is young, only a girl. Who has the strength to hurt those they care for 

to afford them a longer termed relief? We must assume, not her. Maybe one day.

 

Oh it hurt to let his love waste. But it hurt more to let her go. And he vowed he would 

keep the little of her he could.

 

Son, how much of yourself is there left to dissolve? One day there will be nothing.

 

"Pete love, I'm starting to worry about you. You really aren't all here today!" 

 

"I'm just thinking how beautiful you look today"

 

She giggled, and they carried on walking. He battled to keep his internal anguish from his brows.

Must be something in the air today, she never usually noticed. He watched her smile,

assured her everything was alright. She told him about the men in her life: he was not a man, 

he was her dear friend, she constantly reminded him of this. He held his love for her

by it's neck, for this moment it could not breathe, and he advised her on her worries. But this

stubborn love would not die, he knew this already, and soon it escaped his grip and he could not

talk any longer. His tears rose from the pit of his stomach to his chest, he pushed them down. 

And stole a glance, she had not noticed, she walked with her head in the clouds of her dream world.

He hoped it was wonderful there.

 

But every heart that is given away leaves a hole in the chest. And nature works its ways, that hole shall be

filled by the heart of another. yes boy, you are loved, you are loved and you do not even know it. 

Thinking of You

Can I carve my name into your chest

So they know that you are mine

And if disease should infest

I'd bide out the time

-----------

This pain is not the same as before

This pain is different

I want more

------------

i need this to

release my love

i am empty without you inside

you're unaware of how I've cried

and begged to hold you

within my quaking love

you have seen how my heart beats for you

you can feel that inside

i'll give my energy to you

for you I have no pride

and all of this

you release into me

i'll take and keep

for eternity

----------------------

You drive me

Through my heart

Into the ground

Kill me now

I won't make a sound

Will you keep my blood

In a vial round your neck?

Will you bury my body

When you've severed my head?

-----------------------

I'd push you off the mountain

Watch you fall to your death

And if it didn't kill you

I'd love you instead

----------------------

If I could freeze

My hearts remains

When it melted

Would I feel the same

--------------------

I can't keep my head up

Push me down

The water's increasing

Will you watch me drown?

I can still hear you saying

"Love is watching your love die"

So this is goodbye

My last words, my last breath

I still wish I was with you instead

-------------------

angel with my angel wings

suffocate me while i hear you sing

i feel your hands around my neck

you are my air you take my breath

Why is it so easy to forget?

If I can take your hurt upon myself,

and feel it, less than you would if you kept it,

Then I will.

Because I love you.

---

"Now I can breathe, turn my insides out and smother me "

'Smother me' - The Used

She wanted -
To take all his pain away from him
To drink his fear
To make him strong
She would hurt for him
All for his love

His love was her water
She could not drink enough
All he wanted was to hold her

His nights were his downfall
That he could not sleep by her side
She would be there for him
But they held her back
They held her and they tied her
And they would not let her be free

She sat at her desk
And listened to the birds sing outside
And believed they sang for her
Just for her

She saw words that weren't there
She told him it wasn't fair
Nothing ever is
Not where love creeps in

He tried to remember
A time when he didn't love her so
And he could
But she could not conceive the cave he would leave if he left
And so she would not let him go

The faces watching them
She could not pretend
And he didn't care

Tell me

I used to tell you everything

When you had time for my pain

An ear for my words

Hold me again?

Is it time to move on

Have I held on too long

Have we changed

This doesn't feel right anymore

You don't even fight anymore

Not for me

Say it for me

'Cause I can't say goodbye

Don't look back

If you don't want to see me cry

"hey pumpkin,

just feel that i should let you know

that you're a great person

and must never change"

Dear J,

There's so much I want to say to you
That I know I never will.

I feel that now,
I'll never kiss your lips again
Nor feel your touch.

I can't miss you yet,
I can't feel anything at all
Except sick
Sick and falling to pieces
From what you put me through
- Did you know?

I never once told you I loved you
Was I wrong for thinking I did?

I understand none of your actions
I know not why you ever wanted me

Would you -
Please tell me why you say you care
When you don't
I don't blame you for loving another
And I can't feel angry at you
I can't feel anything at all

I think you should know
That I could never feel the same
For anyone but you

Would you keep this piece of my heart?
On second thoughts - no
I desire you to have nothing of me
And don't you ever tell me you were sorry,

Don't ever tell me you loved me!

This is where it ends.

You didn't know -
How my heart skipped a beat
How much it all meant to me
More than you could know.

Please tell me what you felt
What it was I saw in your eyes..

If you thought of someone else
When I closed your eyes -
Don't tell me now
If you wished I were her

If I am not your first,
Your only
I will not be yours
I won't be your toy any longer

You haven't left me with much
I can't feel the same
I can't feel the same
I can't feel the same

Please tell me why
Even if it hurts to hear
That you never felt this
Not for a moment

It didn't mean a thing

Tell me,
How often you thought of me
In the weeks between
Because I thought of you everyday

I am missing a heart
Which surrendered itself to you

I wish you happiness
While you sleep by her side
I wish her all the love
You never could give to me
I am cold and I am lonely
And I cannot blame you for anything
Except pretending


It hurts to know you lied
It hurts to know you led me on
More than anything
It tears me apart to know that
You don't love me
You never did.

I only wish I understood
Your intentions
Were they ill
Or simply thoughtless

This is goodbye.

the silence speaks volumes

It's midnight where are you

Enough

I thought i wanted more than this,

but more than this would surely be too much.

I see that now - that knowing what you think would be too much.

This is enough, this is what I chased all along, after all.

I don't need to hear you say you care - to feel you is enough.

I couldn't ask for much more - I didn't..

I don't need to know what you're thinking - sometimes thoughts run wild.

Sometimes, we're just numb.

And I would surely hold it against you - instead of you against me.

I got what I wanted - and you - I won't ask what you wanted.

I said I didn't need to know.

don't mind me i'm just breaking down.

when you need everyone to care...
is when they don't care
at all