When the pain of longing is too much, it is then that we must bear the suffering more. I still do not know why I attract pain in my unique form, and so I keep looking, I am not one to give up, but we each have our weaknesses. Sometimes they aren't defined though, and we end up wondering. Then do we follow our mind or our hearts? because my heart always wins, there is not even a struggle. And I am grateful that my memory is weak, I know I have developed it as a self-defence mechanism. My eyes are opened wider, and see clearer, but sometimes I still don't see the truth. Or do I see truth denied, I know not. I know what I want to do, I do not know yet what I need to do.