This is it.
I haven't written for a while now. And it's no wonder why.
Writing means admitting what's in my heart, I'd rather not.
I want to feel what I want to feel, so tired of being slave to these emotions.
Same old story, I thought I was stronger than that.

Spilling my heart onto this canvas doesn't always make the prettiest picture
It won't sell
But hitting my head against this wall might make a mark to last forever
If the tears won't wash the blood, then why cry as well?

Can you massage these dreams out of me
And throw away the memory
Can you explain one more time how this went so wrong

Seems like it's a year for goodbyes.

The timings off, or exactly right

That I can say goodbye without having to fight

In my head.

Not one last look

Or another mistake

This is what you take from me

Velcro Hearts

Just stick them back together

Don't be sorry you didn't call
I'd rather know sooner that you don't care at all

"there is no good in always being right,
but the good in being wrong, is it really that good?"

i'm so grateful for you friend.

I am of two minds
I am of more
I am more people than this one heartbroken girl
They live inside me


And there she was
Black, tall
We could not look at her nor him
What good to face eyes that love us not
Next to arms that don't hold us
Wondering, would he hold her, when we left
But he would leave with us
Though seperate

Home now, alone
Just me and me
Us
We can't forget the white face
Or help wonder what was missing

Two minds, for one would stay
One would go
And both knew it was not forever
It is still remembered
Tonight we live this again
Up to the left of our gaze

Now he, she, they are both here
And soon to be more
And we could not be happier
To surrender these two minds
To one

So I step forward

***

We didn't find her - she found us.
She sniffed us out.
She sat there
Slightly filthy with erotic mystery.
I saw the dreamer in her
Had fallen in love with me and she did not know it.
That moment the dreamer in me
Fell in love with her, and I soon knew it.

Hughes

Nothing leaves me the same


Hafiz - Ghazal 270

Ask not what sorrows for love I endure
Ask not of parting poisons that make me impure.
I have travelled the world and in the end
Ask not what lover I willingly allure.
Longing for a vision, at her door
Ask not of the tears that I pour.
With my own ears I heard her last night
Ask not of her words, harsh yet demure.
Bite not your upper lip and speak not
Ask not what sweet lips I may secure.
In my mendicant state without you
Ask not of my pain and need for a cure.
On the path of Love, Hafiz, lost & unsure
Ask not of his standing, high and pure.

All the stars point to this

you know me, i always want to be judged
everybody wants
not the same things though
...not everybody gets
not everyone wants the same thing. in fact most people don't, not in the long run anyway
and im too used to getting what i want.
you know that too
well i know that you like to say you are used to getting what you want, but for as long as i can remember you have not been getting what you want at all.
so u need a change

no prizes for guessing which one is me

These winds, they change me, though change is just a phase
Today's promises are broken, for tomorrow remains the same
For those who do not falter, their thoughts are just a game
Breathe into me and through me, for it isn't you I blame

I'd say I'm a pretty confused girl.. The ones fascinated by philosophy, literature, religion or lack thereof; love... usually are. I'm okay with that though. It's not ideal but rather be confused than ignorant.

How do you see me?
I'm a million different people to a million different people, and every one of them is me. I don't pretend. I'm one of those people who are always interested in what others think of them.Why is that? One of those people who are always asking 'Why?'. I have these desires: to know that everything has a reason, to know what drives people, their values, what makes them different.

If only I could read your mind, if only you could read mine.