I ask you not, because I would have you sad
But rather because I need to understand
To be there for you when you inevitably fall from this farce
That you yourself have admitted is not forever
So then why do you deliberately isolate yourself?
Maybe,maybe,maybe I am wrong,
I can only hope that this is so
But I see your soul has leaked from your eyes
Does she keep it?
Because I can not even see hers.
Love is not some competition
But what lies beneath what you say, and do
All the empty actions
That I do not need although it is I who you compete with.
If I could only see into your head...
But I wish this too often
I just feel that I am losing you, my friend
And was that not your greatest fear?
So why then, do you push us away?
I try to reason with you
But your thoughts are aimless
And your excuses feeble
What are your true reasons for not wanting to stay?
Your gaze betrays you
And your knock-backs do not make me doubt my choice
It only your so called lover who suffers
Because your love goes only as far as you can prove.
So where do we go from here?
Though I do not await your demise,
I must keep it in mind
Although you pretend that you don't need me now
Or you do things that push me away
My loyalty means I will stay
Because then you will need me.
Is it good enough reason?
Nothing you say or do I can believe
And we do not connect
What is left? what is left?
You test the ones who I love
And disappoint me yourself
What now?
I do not know, and dare not think whether this may be an ending, or if this is a change. Whether it is permanent, what it is and whether I can handle it.
"How did we get here?
I used to know you so well,
How did we get here?
I think I know how."
Paramore - Decode
3 comments:
My friend, there is no friend.
On a biological level love IS a competition in the truest sense of the word but our overgrown frontal cortex complicates the hell out of passing on our genes and turns the whole thing into a big schmozzola.
Now we've added emotional and nonsensical factors into the equation and fly by the seat of our pants.
There is an obvious evolutionary advantage to falling in and out of love but long term pair-bonding is still the universal target for most of us.
It's simply too exhausting (mentally, physically and emotionally) to keep starting over.
Although on the highway of Life some travellers love to drive day and night to get to their destination as soon as possible.
That being said stopping along the way to smell the roses and take in the sights makes the journey more memorable.
Sorry I let Mr Tater ramble on..he really is quite a nuisance.
My blunt reaction is that a souless bitch has stolen a friend from you, it will not last, and in the process you are losing a friend. Your friend keeps lying and doing things that are not typical behaviors for them, and after promising to stay close they push you away. They have no reason at all and the connection you felt to them is fading fast. If any of that is true I am with Siegfried, but keeping in mind that even those of us with the best intentions get lost in matters of the heart and may someday come back for forgivness.
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