Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Five minutes, from bed to car.
I think it may be a record.
But I'm not proud, because it meant I was late for class,
And maybe it didn't matter,
Maybe it wasn't my fault,
Yeah, my phone was charging and that means the reminder didn't sound
But I should have set an alarm instead of a reminder.
I don't know,
I am reluctant to blame myself for the lack of attention my life and everything in it has been getting lately!
But they have been lacking.
Maybe I shouldn't give so much to begin with,
Then they would not feel the lack...
Is that viable?
I am so full of maybes!
I do not use these pages as my journal,
Not so simply.
Why am I writing like this?
So I can admit to myself,
That my attention has shifted one hundred percent?
And that I would not have it any other way?
Am I being selfish or just enjoying what's there for the taking...?
I always was a bit of a hedonist.
Balance: I should know that better than anyone.
So everyone, just don't think that I am not thinking about it.
I am.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
well, she is a new girl
i met her the other day actually
she has the amazing body!
and stunning gorgeous lines!
with a personality to match!
i couldnt believe my luck!
she just kinda appeared before me one day!
in my line of sight
smiling!
grinning from ear to ear
beaming
***
i cant think of what to say to get my feelings across this screen to your eyes!
***
Its like
when i kiss you i cant get enough
like i want you completely in me
to consume every inch of you
to tie every limb of mine in yours
to live through you breathing on me
and just stay in your aura
***
to be able to hold you
to be able to touch you
to feel your skin on mine
to taste you
to run fingers through your hair
to be in you
***
"Change as ye list, ye winds; my heart shall be
The faithful compass that still points to thee" J.Gay
Monday, October 13, 2008
That you spare me one night of feeling
Because I can't say no and my feelings scare me
Here's hoping
That you know what you want or that you do not
I do not know which will save me
Suddenly I see so far into the future
and I don't know what to do with it
Here's hoping - Or not hoping -
That sense will catch me when the ground is not solid anymore
Or I try to walk across water to you
Here's hoping - that you do not read this and think me a fool
I'm hoping that I am not.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Or just a bit over-tired
It's just..
I'm thinking
And non-comprehensible, half-comprehensible thoughts
That hold no reason for the writing of
But might spill out here in any case.
How everything in life is a delicate balance.
So easy to disrupt
If we trust our instinct,
Does instinct lead us to balance
Unlike our over-meditated actions
Which often throw us off course?
How we are all hypocrites
And most claim to hate them the most
Is it then only important that we do not become hypocrites in our own eyes
Or is this just some intricate type of deceit?
How it takes being out of one's mind
To speak it sometimes
And how fear is so crippling
Fear that the other will not feel the same
How many times have you not spoken
For fearing or for not knowing
Or just not to upset the balance?
But how comfortable can we stay sometimes?
It's the stupid stuff
That we want to forget the most
And it's the stupid stuff
That we want to remember.
Maybe it makes no sense.
Maybe nothing does.
But then those things that make sense,
Shouldn't one hold close to himself?
And love that which makes him sane
When his world is full of the insane
Even if it's just for understanding his unique insanity
Or being part of it.
Maybe,
Maybe.
Maybe...
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow. '