Maybe your definition of friendship differs vastly from mine, but is a friend still a friend whom you do not see, is not eager to see you? Is a friend still a friend whom you rarely talk to? Is a friend still a friend when you have no ties left, but just because you deem him to be so? I think not.
I digress, I was just fine without talking to you, I had come to terms with it. But you drag me back here and I can never understand why. You start, and do not follow through. You spark the fire, and leave me to fan it. My turn is long since over. It is yours.
I always pray for the strength, to walk away; always pray for guidance, to know what to do. But I cannot answer my prayers, my internal monologue evades me. Do you deserve a frosty reception similar to your own, or being deceived to hurt both you and your mate? Revenge sounds sweet but I am not vindictive.
If there were some reason for your less than enthusiastic behaviour, I would like to think that you could be honest with me, but you only deny the feelings which constantly bother me. Which makes it worse. Who knows what drives you ? or what goes on inside your head, because you will not tell me anymore. I almost succeed in refusing to let this bother me. Almost.
“This is my last call to you
Then I'll give up everything
That we had, that we'd do
And you'll never hear me sing
All these songs about you
So just take this time and think
Just take this time and think”
Plain White T’s
...“For the warrior, there is no such thing as an impossible love” Paulo Coelho
Plain White T’s
...“For the warrior, there is no such thing as an impossible love” Paulo Coelho
8 comments:
There are old (tried and true) friends that you don't have to see all the time but most of the others are acquaintances.
You only need a few really great friends anyway...most men would prolly settle for one but women are better communicators and they usually have a handful.
If this is a love interest who is stuck between 1st gear, neutral and reverse, then by all means trade them in for a sportier model.
I am going on the assumtion (perhaps making an ASS of U + Me) that you will not mind me linking and reposting your thought (entire entry and link with your name) with a full response. I want this to be read. It is important. This struck a note with my heart.
Don - Yeah, I suppose so. But if I was referring to someone who was supposed to be one of the "few really great friends"? sigh..
Chris - I'm flattered, actually :)
Feelings, honesty; honesty, feelings. I like 'em both, and I want plenty of them in my life.
I'll tell you what I think, based on the tiniest fragment of evidence. This is someone who doesn't have an honest relationship with himself - notyet. And if he can't have a good relationship with himself, what chance has anybody else got?
If the friendship is clouded by love then it's doomed.
When the heart gets involved it messes the friendship up.
I'm not talking about sex, that's different, I'm talking love.
If it's a plutonic friendship then sometimes people grow apart.
I’ve seen that over the years with my friends when their lives took them down different paths.
I have friends I only speak to once or twice in a decade but if they’re in trouble all they need to do is call me.
I guess it comes down to what you believe a friendship should be and what kind of friendship you want.
Great post.
Well I obviously went and made my post but had to come back to see what everyone said. At the first read I was so overwhelmed I didn't read any comments.
Donn-there are those like my one best friend that although I rarely see him-I know we will be there for one another no matter what.
Unfortuntely, being in a field where I do couseling-people come to me for help, use me, and dump me. I am masculine but would almost fall into the female role for being a good communicator, and naturally my wife isn't a good one.
Gordie-Hit the nail on the head. If you don't love yourself then no one can love you. Again from my experience with many woman I can't get in because they don't let me. High defenses either means you've been burned too much or don't love yourself.
Walker I also agree with. Any mixture of love and friendship is hard. I am married and therefor heterosexual but to tell my best man whom was faithfully my only guaranteed friend that I loved him at my wedding for being so great was not wrong. Again here it is different with women and men. Men don't want to hear that because of the macho bullshit and want to just be men. But if a woman says it a whole new pathway opens and there is no turning back.
Leila-I am glad you were not upset with my post. I had plans at the time and was just going to drop in but I had to write after reading it. You share your feelings very well. And this site from it's readers tends to make me think that men listen a lot better than I thought.
Gordie, again, you seem to have hit the nail on the head. Thinking about it, you could definitely and probably be right there..
Walker, I just hope, that that is not true. I'd like to think that friendship in itself is a form of love and that the types of love do not have as much distinction as everyone seems to make out.
Chris, thankyou, again!, and I will repsond to your email soon soon, have been doing a bit of varsity work.
I'd like to think men listen well, my close friends are mostly men :)
When a friendship turns into love then goes sour, that friendship is gone, not because of lack of love but because of the pain the memory that love brings especially when the break up wasn’t mutual.
No one wants to see or know that someone they still love is with someone else and even if it was mutual the new person in the EX’s life might feel threatened especially if there are no kids giving reason for him to keep in contact with her.
It’s a twisted mess of logic and jealousy.
I understand what you are saying to, that it should not make a difference but it does.
I don’t keep in contact with my Exs but the one I had kids with, the others I haven’t spoken to since we parted.
For me, that’s just part of life and in many ways the easiest, less complicated way to move on.
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