Walking through uni and sitting waiting around, you get plenty of time to
look at people and you get to notice certain things
People differ so much, subconciously (well, mostly). I always wonder where I stand in this unsaid, assumed hierarchy of people.
Some people are just cool without making any effort.
Some people are just geeky and always alone, I wonder if they don't mind being alone, or if they're just used to it?
Somewhere between the two you have the ones upon whose faces you will spot the tentative beginnings of a smile that soon disappears if not returned.
Closer to the geeky side you have the posers- the ones who stand around sucking on a cigarette for want of something better to do with their hands and because they don't want to look alone. Look closer you will see their prematurely aged face- pock-marked and wrinkled from a lifetime of trying to fit into a level that they just don't fit into.
This hierarchy is evident. For example: It's so much easier to talk to people lower on the scale of 'coolness' than you. It all sounds so high school but there it is and that's how I perceive it to be.
It's all based on attractiveness. Well mostly anyway. When you see a 'pretty/cool' person hanging around with a 'unattractive/geeky' person then you assume they have low self-confidence.
And where do I fit in? Me... well I get the general gist that I'm one of those unnapprochable people. Isn't it funny how the exterior can differ so much from the interior? It seems I exude a (false?) air of confidence- one of a twenty-something yr old. despite the fact that I am one of the youngest people in the uni at 17yrs old, and the youngest looking (or so I thought) I have been asked whether I am a third yr student, and have had exclamations of "OH! I thought you were twenty-something" when I have let slip that I am only 17. I dunno though.. is this good or bad?
Beauty comes with it's own pricetag though - shallowness. Or most of the time, anyway. Shallow people cling togther... maybe that explains the 'cool/uncool' friend phenomenon?
That's how it is and sometimes the truth is not nice to hear. But truth conquers all (ha now I'm a real Law student) so there we go. I tell it like it is.
2 comments:
Hi Leila,
Deep thoughts, maybe it's this hidden wealth that people see in you that makes you seem older, wiser, apart.
A strange addition is that your role in public is often set in stone with people who know you, but when you meet a different crowd you can wear a different garb, show a different face. For some crowds I'm the geek, for some the seducer, for some the comedian, for some the best possible friend. All wrong, all right.
Sometimes you get to choose which facet of your soul catches the light and blinds them.
thanks, and you're right. like you, i am a different person with every 'crowd' i spend time with... it's strange.
yeh and i can escape everything but my thoughts!
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