Saturday, February 11, 2006

I saw in my sleep

I dreamt last night.
It was really weird, 'cause usually dreams are an extension of my daily life, a mish-mosh of things I've heard/done/seen/talked about in the day.

Less often I get dreams about what I'm thinking about, but haven't talked about/heard about/wrote about during the day.

But never before have I had a dream quite like this one....

Before I go on, you must know this: I hate cigarettes. It hurts me when people i love smoke. I fought with my Dad for years till he finally gave up. I just can't understand how a person can care so little about living that they would do something that they know is killing them. Some, well most, of my friends smoke, and I hate it. I also have a very addictive personality, which is why I will never try a cigarette, 'cause I know that 99% I will be addicted.

So let me get to the point:

I go into some kind of supermarket and buy cigarettes. I don't know how many boxes but I didn't have an intention of smoking much so I would guess one or two boxes? So as the days go by now and again I slip out of the house for a sneaky smoke (all alone). But I don't actually feel guilty, which is unusual. And all the time I'm smoking I'm thinking of the tar sinking down into my lugs, and it's BLACK, sticky. I'm thinking, "God that's 3 minutes off my life" but then I reassure myself- I'm not gonna have many, only one every couple of days. Then I think 'But that's what all the nicotine addicts say'.

All this time I'm smoking and thinking, I'm just doing it for the sake of it. It feels good, but not enjoyable. And I know I'm not addicted. It's just this warm relaxing feeling when I suck on the cigarette, but it's more to do with the fact that I'm outside, alone, thinking and less to do with the cigarette itself.

So this dream takes place over, say, a week. So near the end of the week my brother comes into my room and sees two boxes of cigarettes on the side. I hadn't even bothered to hide them. Weird and totally unlikely. At this point in the dream i knew I had a total of 4 boxes of cigarettes. I don't know how i knew that, oo why the number 4 is significant though. So my brother takes the boxes and runs around the house, threatening to tell my dad. I chase him, knowing he's only threatening to irritate me yet scared that he might tell. I'm more irritated at him than scared at getting found out though, which is also strange. So we run around and my dad shouts at us for running around and shouting. Then my dad says to my bro- 'whatever you have of hers give it back. now' Then my brother says...'but dad, it's cigarettes!' now the weirdest thing of all- my dad says 'i don't care, she can smoke one every now and again if she wants' I am shocked (in my dream)

Like I said, weird. I wonder what it means?

4 comments:

Faltenin said...

Hmmm - not sure about that comment above. The "delete" button is your friend..

Back to your dream - I'm sure it has a significance, not sure what.

Freud would say you're dreaming about sex - but then Freud says that about all dreams!

Just don't start smoking for real, it gives kisses a yucky taste.

Stephen said...

Pretty crazy dream you had there. Might mean something; might mean nothing. Nonetheless, I really enjoy remembering dreams like that. The more nonsensical, the better. They are a nice way to get out of reality, and liven up the boring life I have.

Leila said...

yeah i also think it has significance- it was too crazy not too... i won't start smoking for real, don't worry. but then again if one half of a couple smokes already it wouldn't make much difference to the kisses!

i love remembering dreams! it just fascinates me..

i'll look it up in my dream book when i get home later anyway...

Leila said...

hey mudassar! happy vday to you too!

my vday's up- got locked out the house but went shopping! no romantic plans- but refused to spend the day mourning the fact that i'm not in love!

what did you get up to?