Rationality, faith.

"Their's not to make reply,

Their's not to reason why,

Their's but to do and die"

The Charge of the Light Brigade - Lord Alfred Tennyson

***

Coming from the non-religous perspective of my childhood, I am tempted to question everything rationally and logically. It is not in my character to have blind faith, it wasn't instilled in me during my youth, or if so, to an almost negligible degree.

Although my personality has been labelled "idealist", I still find it hard to believe far fetched ideas without logic supporting them. Which surely makes me more of a rationalist? I will believe something harmless and plausible if it entertains me yes, but I suspect my feet are grounded. They seem to be in any case.

***

"A priest is rushing

To my side

Begins to read me

My last rites

Father you're too late

My faith is weak"

The Priest and The Matador - Senses Fail

***

Is my faith weak? Why in any case is faith such a noble trait to have?

I just find it so appaling to accept things which i know not to be true, or which i seriously doubt the truth of, or which defy all rules of known logic.

***

Sometimes however the questions get too much: at what point, if any, should we turn around and say "Enough!" and just accept things for what they are? No questioning, no discovering - we can never know the answers and the searching will surely be the death of us...

***

It is what it is

***

I feel that I would be betraying myself by not finding out all there is to know, all I can possibly conceive and understand and hold within my head. but it seems like I am bringing this confusion upon myself.

What could ever warrant causing pain to oneself? - surely only saving another from pain or to saving oneself from further pain, or as a step in achieving a greater 'good' (for oneself or another..) ? Are any of these achieved by my unwaivering quest for answers?

It is tempting though to give up and block it all out, to forget - knowledge is conflicting, subjective and overwhelming at times. Forget any questions one might hold, forget the need for truth, forget any morsels of knowledge one might have already gained along the way. To achieve what, calmness? happiness? I know not.