Second place is first loser

I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

BRAND NEW - The Boy who Blocked His Own Shot

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I battle with this constant need to be first. I'm trying to understand why second best is so inconceivable to me, why it is so ghastly, so offensive, so repulsed by every living inch of my body.

I tend to turn to a greater sense of "right" and "wrong", or justice in this universe, asking whether my battle is actually because it is "wrong" to be second best, that it "shouldn't be".

How far can you take the concept of nothing being "wrong" or "right", everything just being what it is? Putting oneself second best, to me at least feels like compromising oneself.

I'm just wondering whether it is some shortcoming in me that I need to be first and only, or whether the need is rational. It seems as though I feel it deeper, more urgently than others..

--

'A vision of your face

In my dreams I trace

In my wakefulness I chase

My dreams to have a peek'

Hafiz