she couldn't eat

but dreams don't need feeding

and she knew the sun set at night

if you're standing still


the words wouldn't flow

but she knew not why

it wasn't quite what she expected


and it faded, it all did

how long before there was nothing left

not even a memory

for fear is hard to stop

it works with a purpose

if you're scared of the right things


she claimed she never knew a man

till she had seen him angry

so she looked for anger

to love the best

but she knew not what love was


delusional young hearts

who think they know

misguidance just ends in pain

and headstrong stubborness with overcompensation



she sacrificed it all

all in the name of nothing

and remembered why

she was so scared to begin with


a dozen songs

could speak her tongue

her tongue was unemployed

as she tried to disconnect her brain

it is so easy to forget

you're forgotten


but she looked for answers again

where there were none

and instead only found questions

which she could not bear

and could not decide

trying to silence her heart

but logic was ill taken

if she could find it


so she returned

to what she needed less than she wanted

smiling

and going back on her words

never again

but it felt so good

to be wanted and she knew he did


her lungs she gave

only a substitute for her heart

she did not need them if the air she breathed

was not in the name of love

and it wasn't

no it never was


she wished she wasn't mistaken

in all that she had thought

and wondered whether feelings may be wrong

and eyes could lie

and what it felt like to be loved

and to love

she missed being held

in false pretence


to revert to waiting

isn't so bad

but her leg was stinging

and so were her hands



she was collapsing

but she wouldn't stop

because this pain was more real than anything she had ever felt

and it hurt less than confusion


she coughed

as she waited

for their collection of hearts

she would not keep any anymore

as hers was her own

again



she was right to begin with

unfortunately



she had made her mistake

never again would she risk

second place

somehow she knew

this karma not to be true

remembering why she was petrified of being alone

and everything else

wishing she had never given herself to begin with

for being reduced to a page

in an epic



all her fears confirmed

so what had she learnt

not to trust so easily

or not to trust at all


however these doubts did not reduce her

to less than she was before

she was plenty and through it all

nothing

no nothing

nothing had changed